My Dark Night.

My dark Night!

I was rushed to hospital and on life support. By God's good grace and excellent medical surgery I came through that 'night'. It would be another four months before being discharged. I am now on long term rehabilitation.
Below is a part of my experiences 

I woke filled with fright.

It was night.

The room touched by sickly light.

Then I heard,

“Nurse!” 

My night began in Hobart hospital.

To sleep soundly was ‘mission impossible.’

Besieged by doubt

My heart shouted out,

“Why am I here?”

“Where is here?”

Later this I learnt,

My trip to St. Luke’s hospital earnt

An emergency trip

In an ambulance on a drip. 

The blood clot in my leg

Was intent upon leaving me dead!

 In the darkness I struggled to pray.

What words? Impossible to say.

But no sense of the Lord was felt.

I was weak, my soul began to melt.

Insinuations intruded.

Whispers of unbelief invaded.

Your cries are not heard"
Your Master hasn’t stirred

To help you win the fight!”

Despair sought to undermine

My trust at this dark time.

Then, God’s word came to mind. 

To His disciples  Christ gave His word

“I will never leave you” is what they heard.

In this assurance they did face,

Opposition, death and disgrace.

And by His promise faced hostility

With faith, hope, love and humility.

Why then in my night of difficulty

Should I yield to unbelief’s slander?

Or to its corrosive thoughts pander?

Never!

Jesus promised to be with me!

In my soul’s night this is my light:

In the shadows He’s holding me tight!

 

©Ray Hawkins March 2019.

Outlined in RHH. completed at home.

I wasn't in the boat

I wasn’t in the boat

 

I wasn’t in the boat

On Galilee.

Nor did I see

He who slept peacefully

As they sailed tranquilly.

I felt not their fear

As the unexpected storm,

Wild, fierce, wind borne 

Threatened the disciples with death.

I heard not their tortured sighs

As they desperately cried,

“Wake up Master’ or we die!”

He stood up and calmly

Facing the storm’s ferocity

Commanded it to cease

 Its terror and be at peace!

Now, in awe, the disciples discover

Jesus of Nazareth is like no other.

 I did not feel the disciples’ emotion,

But can understand their devotion.

I’ve learnt, when Jesus seems asleep

As I struggle, stumble, suffer, weep,

With the danger I’ll falter, act in haste

Until I faithfully seek His face.

Then He ‘awakes’, draws near and acts,

Displays His grace, power, authority

To declare He is Jesus, Lord of glory

©Ray Hawkins  May 2019.)

 

 

 

 

I wasn’t at the Sea of Galilee.

 

 

I wasn’t there so I couldn’t see the frustration

On the bearing of the seven disciples’ concentration.

It was a long night fishing so fruitlessly

On the Sea of Galilee where, previously,

They had laboured so successfully.

 A voice floated over the waters with a command

“Throw your net on the other side” was its demand.

This they did, perhaps ruefully

Only to discover, in humility,

                                            They’d netted one hundred and fifty three.

 Impetuous Peter, jumped overboard, rushed ashore

To greet the risen Lord and maybe implore

The Lord to ignore those hasty words

Peter had spoken in denial of his Lord,

Who was under arrest to face Roman Law.

 I wasn’t there to listen in, but this I understand

Jesus confronted Peter so as the restore the man

With bitter, deep regrets for stumbling

And saying around the fire’s glowing

This Jesus, he wasn’t following.

 No recrimination from Jesus’s lips did sound

When asking Peter “Do you love me more than these?”

What ‘these were’ we can debate

But Peter’s heart, an open ‘gate’

Confessed “You know I love you!”

 What Jesus did for Peter, with mercy and restoration,

He will do for you, an act of renovation,

Removing denial’s devastation

Replaced by love’s consecration.

The ‘key’, Lord, I love you!

 

 ©Ray Hawkins April 2019.

I wasn’t with Mary Magdalene

 

 

I wasn’t with Mary when she went to the garden tomb

It was early when she walked through the gloom

With heavy heart wanting to fulfil Jewish burial rites

And found the Roman guards had been put to flight

The sealed was broken, the tomb was open wide

Inside no corpse was there.  Mary wondered why.

I would have enjoyed seeing Mary’s expressions

When she heard “Mary!”  and the easing of tensions

Grief, uncertainty and fear would have dissolved

For now The Messiah’s identity had been solved.

What Scripture’s prophecies and allegories implied

Found fulfilment in Jesus Christ the crucified.

 To Mary the first to have seen the victor of Calvary

Was given the privilege of heralding His victory

To those disciples cowering in disillusionment

Her testimony aroused faith and passion with intent

That made Peter and John run there to verify

What Jesus stated, though crucified He would arise.

 I wasn’t there to see it myself, but I believe her story

For with the other disciples, Christ’s resurrection glory

Would cause much joy and sorrow in their new mission

To share the gospel about Christ’s offer of redemption

And The Holy Spirit put it all together in Scripture

To lead you and me to faith, hope and a new destiny.

©Ray Hawkins April 2019.