Being at peace with the un-peaceable

our time in a village in Zambia. A relationship
with the Pastor and family which blessed us

Relationships are either a blessing or a curse. They will make or break one’s heart. The Bible is a relationship manual as well as many other things. It tells you about having a relationship with God (previous blog plus one) and being happy in yourself (previous blog). It also give good advice on how to relate to those I’ll call ‘the un-peaceable!’

Unless you are a hermit (even then you have to live with yourself) you will know various depths of relationships. We cannot escape from relationships with family, friends, workmates and acquaintances. Each one is detailed within Scripture. The one(s) I’m writing about deal more with friends and acquaintances. Family peace is for another blog.

We all have our histories, hurts and habits and unless we enjoy being at peace with God and ourselves they will infect our relationships. Herein is our difficulty. We might be at peace yet we will be mixing and mingling with many who are not. The results of these relationships will vary from the thankless to the traumatic, from frustration to failure and from exploited to exhilarating. Being a Christian also opens us up to being nice to the nasty which, without wisdom, can scar our own spiritual outlook.

Jesus took relationships seriously, easily seen as you read the Gospels. His manner with people sets us some guidelines which will safeguard our heart and faith. Jesus talked about wolves in sheep clothing who seek an intimacy for ulterior motives. It results in the sheep being devoured (Matthew 7:15). But then it seems strange to read in Matthew 10:16 that Jesus said to His disciples: “See, I’m sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves.” In effect Jesus was putting the ‘sheep’ in charge of the relationship. The aim, to convert wolves into sheep. But He added, be wise as serpents, harmless as doves and ‘beware of them’ (the wolves). Whilst the Bible highlights religious wolves there are many other wild dogs such as sexual and financial predators.

Notice, however, how Jesus treated His relationship with Judas. The betrayer was treated with genuine affection and was warned about what he was going to do. The same applied to Peter who also betrayed his Lord. What should they teach us when someone lets us down or breaks a trust? The prayer of Jesus on the cross covered them both. We know Peter repented with a broken heart. Judas? We can forgive. We can offer new beginnings. We will need to still be alert until they prove themselves to be trustworthy once again.

Romans 12:18: If it is possible, so far as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all.’ Did you notice the ‘rider’? What should you do when you do your best, pray a lot, be gracious only to be confronted by a ‘un-peaceable’ person? Steer clear. Keep out of the person’s way. Move under his/her ‘radar. Don’t stop praying for him/her but avoidance is wisdom as well as good for your spiritual sanity.

1 Corinthians 15:33: ‘Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.’ This may your story or mine. It isn’t the end, fortunately, for the Lord has the power to deliver and forgive. Many though take this warning lightly regarding relationships and end up in a moral, mental and miserable mess. Again, our responsibility is to share the knowledge of God’s grace with such ‘bad company.’ We are told to do it with a sober and right mind being right with God. That will have an effect upon the ‘bad company’ one way or another.

1 John 1:7 ‘if we walk in the light as he himself (Jesus) is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.’ Here is the secret, if one was needed, to being at peace with others. It comes from an ongoing relationship with Jesus which empowers us to be merciful, understanding, gracious and forbearing with one another. It is the foundation for accepting cultural diversity sanctified by commitment to Christ Jesus, Ephesians 2:13-21.

I’m always saddened when I read of Christians being ‘at war’ with one another, split apart or ‘rock-throwers.’ Being ‘un-peaceable’ is actually a testimony to one or both not walking in the fellowship of light with Jesus as their Lord. The One we call the Prince of Peace is unable to bless such individuals, groups or congregations. All that can change the moment any of us who are playing in the ‘fields of moral or spiritual greyness or blackness.’ It happens when we lift up our ‘eyes with faith and sincerity’ to Jesus and ask for mercy. The proof our genuineness will be seen in in how we then related to those with whom and to whom we have been ‘un-peaceable!’

 

©Ray Hawkins March 23 2015.

Next week: The Paradox of Prayer.

The Marriage Dance

Our wedding day 1964

The beauty of marriage is under a concerted ‘acid attack’ designed to deface it by degrading its image and meaning. The Christian view of the mystery and majesty underlining this union of a man and woman has suffered under a barrage of Humanistic attacks. Such a philosophy of life has no room for the spiritual dimension nor for defending what is termed sacred and moral boundaries. Applied to marriage this allows such people to consider same sex relationships, multiple partners and polygamy as valid marriages.

 The only place, and I‘ll write it again, the only place to gain an understanding of marriage is in the Judeo–Christian Bible. Only there will you find its institution with the wonder of its meaning, majesty and mystery. For such a relation didn’t evolve but was God given to men and women through Adam and Eve. Read Genesis chapter 2 for the beginning, Ephesians 5:21-33 for its mystery.

When a man and a woman enter into a marital union they more often than not are ignorant of what underlies such a unique and beautiful oneness. This is a shame if it is never discovered. However in the beginning of becoming husband and wife the intent is to enjoy the rhythm of the wedding dance. This dance of a loving relationship has many steps, different music moods and takes place on various ‘dance-floors’. It takes time and effort, grace and forgiveness, perseverance and laughter.

 I remember as a teenager plucking up the courage to go and learn ballroom dancing. At first it felt awkward. I was nervous, reticent and clumsy. My teacher endured many a sore toe and scrapped shin before I became reasonably proficient in a variety of dances. When I married I began an unending dance. My wife and I were beginners. We did have some good teachers on the ‘sidelines’ encouraging us but it was up to us to learn the steps and sense the rhythm of the dance being ‘played’ at that time. Sore toes or should I say hurt egos that caused concerns. These came about due to each wanting to swing and sway to his or her own tune. This made us want to do our own ‘steps’ resulting in a wrestling match instead of a loving tango. However, we knew ours was an unending dance. Therefore we set our hearts to practice. Perhaps one of the hardest things was to hear the same melody and sway to the same beat. It’s easy to embrace in the dance. It’s another things to maintain the embrace in the movement of life.

 Factors that kept us dancing, even when we had our egos stepped upon or something interrupted the music was the grace of mercy and forgiveness. There was also the healing qualities of communicating, even is hesitantly of what was causing us to be ‘tripped.’ Such sharing requires trust and tenderness and at the same time a willingness to learn from it. Other features in the dance routine of life include the serious and intense as well as the fun provoking jigs mixed with the passion of the waltz and tango. Many of the modern dances portray individuals shaking and shimmering, but not reaching out to the other and learning to co-ordinate their movements. Seems like a modern day metaphor for how people view marriage.

 God intended marriage to be on the ‘dance floor’ of everyday living. Husbands and wives were to feel the rhythm of God’s music in the midst of earth’s cacophony. They were meant to know that the skill in marriage comes though faithfulness and persistence in understanding and appreciating each other. The more time you dance together, the closer you grow together. The closer you are the sweeter the dance. The sweeter the dance the more varied the steps. The more varied the steps the more exhilarating the embrace. The more exhilarating the embrace the more wonderful the music that plays for you to dance.

 For that to be true, God must be the Dance master as well as the Orchestra leader. I have to admit, I like to dance with my wife to the music of the Eternal God on the dance floor of the everyday life. We have been in the dance for fifty years now. While the vigour of the early days may be pleasant memories the vitality of our senior years in the marriage dance is stronger and more meaningful. This is because we discovered the mystery, the meaning and the majesty of marriage. It has kept us dancing together across life’s varied ‘dance floors’.

© Ray Hawkins

For an insight into the three ‘M’s of marriage you could read my 31 day devotional book ‘From Eden with Love.’ Published by Even Before Publishing’ and available in Christian bookshops and Amazon. It is also an Ebook.