Commanding the Impossible

A devotional soliloquy from Ray N. Hawkins

You’ve made it rather difficult Lord.

No. It’s impossible!

The sermon this morning made me very conscious of it. The preacher actually made me feel despondent as he worked through the love sequences of 1 Corinthians 13. I agree, love is noble but really as I listened I thought you asked too much.

Over the years I’ve tried and tried to live out what Paul wrote about. Mary and I even had it in our wedding service. But honestly Lord, I know I’ve failed, time after time. When I concentrate on making sure one facet of Love works, others are collapsing through neglect. After a while it all gets too much and I give up.

What you are asking is beyond my power to fulfil. Well, that’s how I see it. Sure, I can give an appearance of Love to others and people will think (unless they know me real well) that I’m doing fine. But how could you expect me the get all the sixteen facets of Love together and maintain the momentum?

I can’t do it! It is as simple as that. I can’t! It is beyond my capacity, even if I had an overwhelming desire to try. Maybe that’s part of my problem. Every time I’ve given it a go something within me rises up and short circuits the desire and will power. You know what I mean ‘cause you know me. Love calls on me to keep no record of wrongs. In all sincerity I do forgive those who hurt or offend. I pray for them. I go out of my way to be reconciled, but…! When that person treads on my toes again, all those past hurts appear in my mind as if by magic. The old memory’s accounting sheet doesn’t seem to allow for any erasing. One good thing I have to admit, you keep me from having a poison pen with which to embellish their faults. Maybe, just maybe, that is what loving you achieves.

As I sit in this café, sipping tea and munching a biscuit I recall what John wrote about in 1 John 4:19. ‘We love because you first loved us’ so it strikes me I’ve been going about this Love requirement all wrong. It’s been a self effort exercise rather than a self– surrender to you experience. How many times do I have to learn that without you I can do nothing in meeting your standards for living? So, it looks like the only way I’m going to meet the impossible command to Love is by keeping close to you and drawing on your inexhaustible grace.

Lord, the café owner is looking at me with a strange look in his eyes. He’s probably wondering why I’m taking so long over a cuppa. Best get a move on. Thanks Lord for your time.

Copyright March 2020. Ray Hawkins.